Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Danger Danger... High Voltage!!!!

Dear fellow bloggers,

here is a nice picture of the aftermath of a face plant off a bicycle going quite fast. I can't say that I did not have it coming. I take many chances while delivering and my luck was adding up. Fortunately it didn't happen while at work.... UNfortunately it happened while riding home from the bar after work. I was quite sober, just berry berry stupid and switching my hands on the handlebars for "fun". Lotsa fun.

We all had a good laugh. Me, Tim O a.k.a. Mit Mortso the Magnificent, and the drunken homeless looking fellow that happened to be walking nearby. There are some other injuries on me body, but none worth documenting like that face. Bike works fine and I was able to ride home.

Here is something cool too. These pics are of a spider that lives in the tree right in front of our front door. Her web stretches from the branches to the top of the bushes below. She's a biggun and she only sits in her web at night. I named her Moony. The second pic is unaltered, I used the low light setting on the camera and I'm guessing the gravel in the bg threw it off. Looks like a tapestry or a Photoshop filter tutorial.

And that brings the total of cool, occult, familiar animals living around or under the front porch to four. Nocturnal Moony the spider, Miss Kitty and her three kittens, Bravery, Tab Tab, and Scaredy Cat. I didn't have the camera when the babies were young. They are pretty grown now, but still cute. Miss Kitty looked so funny after nursing, those kittens sucked her skinny and her nipples always looked raw and painful. But I guess that is the momma cat's life.... the daddy has a barbed cock and the babies have razor sharp teeth.

I am visiting me fam until new year so probably no art or updates here. Not that anyone actually reads this, right?

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

You are The Hermit

Prudence, Caution, Deliberation.

The Hermit points to all things hidden, such as knowledge and inspiration,hidden enemies. The illumination is from within, and retirement from participation in current events.

The Hermit is a card of introspection, analysis and, well, virginity. You do not desire to socialize; the card indicates, instead, a desire for peace and solitude. You prefer to take the time to think, organize, ruminate, take stock. There may be feelings of frustration and discontent but these feelings eventually lead to enlightenment, illumination, clarity.

The Hermit represents a wise, inspirational person, friend, teacher, therapist. This a person who can shine a light on things that were previously mysterious and confusing.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

almost one month fellow bloggers..... but no fears, i will not leave you like some of these "other" young professionals. it is my duty, nay, my purpose to distribute filth through grid like patterns of electronic information. since i do not have the internets knowledge to build and upkeep a pornographic website i will upload my artworks into the ......vast internets information database (base........base........base......base.....echoes)

in my absence i have been finishing character designs for an independent Half-Life 2 mod at http://www.defenderofmankind.com/en/
i redid the main characters under the STRICT and unfaltering eye of the lead designer. (whispers.... i dont like them very much, but whatever, he was happy....shhhh)

i was asked to join the A.D.D. artists' collective. i will be promoting this more when we get the website up and shirts printed....you can befriend us on myspace at http://www.myspace.com/audodaidux
here are two shirts designs i did for them so far....

this is part of a drug lord lowlife propaganda series front and back design shown

this next is a series about police and the silly things they do.



and finally here is a part of a story in comics book form. i censored the title because i enjoy violating your civil liberties.
it stars lil' old me doing what i've done best in my blogging absence. on the bright side however, my drunken bar room napkin doodles get me free drinks. especially the caricatures. those people are going to toooootaly sell those shits after i die and get so much loot.

so seeeee? i havent forgetten thee beloved bloggerse'sesss' i have been drawing and making the world a filthier place, but i havent been able to keep yall informed like. i try harder now!

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Halloween Costume 2006

This is a very belated post, but on the other hand I have been very busy. I love to make my costume. If I can make it cheaply and still look good that is even better.

This years costume was inspired by a blanket my ex-girlfriend made. The blanky is an amalgam of odd shaped fabrics of different textures. When I wrapped it around me and strutted about the house, my roommate would say that I looked like a Viking chief clad in Big Bird's skin.

That got me a thinkin'. This Halloween I was to make a costume of a crazy man covered in the skins of our beloved Sesame Street characters. I used only the characters whose skins I could match at the fabric store. I did sketches and purchased supplies. Below are the "skinned" characters.


Cookie Monster
I attached the skins rather loosely to a tabbard that I wore. I made eyeballs out of ping pong balls and tied them to a gnarled staff I have. The character that I would be was still a mystery to me until we got downtown and I put the outfit on. I then became possessed by a demon I came to call Jebus Crebus. It was definitely a case of possession, the character, the voice, the antics and jokes. Most people get costumes and forget about character. For me the character makes the costume. We pay respect to the spirits on Halloween, so why not let one possess you for an evening. Below is Jebus Crebus in full effect.

Some other Halloween hooligans...
OMG Judy Jetson!

Friday, October 27, 2006

Crooks of the Western world quick to discard the shell and snatch all the pearls..

Here is a CD cover I just finished for a friend's Halloween themed CD. They called it the Crystal Skull Project. I love black and white illustration, can you tell? It would fold in half with the stained glass skull on the front.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Whiskey River take my mind, Don't let her mem'ry torture me.
Whiskey River don't run dry,
You're all I've got, take care of me.

Well, it has been and emotionally and physically taxing 11 days since the last post. I am sorry about the lack of updates, but here are two pictures I've worked on that you might enjoy. The tower was for a charity flyer for my old church. The Halloween one is an ad that Im actually getting paid for. I still have a couple other deadlines for art and will have to balance them with the old menial labor job. I'm going to spare you all the reasons for the emotionally taxing part of my life, Willie Nelson's famous lyrics do the best job. Enjoy the art!

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Cornflakes with Sugar and Teardrops....

These are my feeble attempts at poetry. I enjoy Shel Silverstein's work greatly. As an artist and a poet he was doubly talented. I tried to spice up the poems with pics like good old Shel, except i like his ink drawings better, like his poems. These two of mine are dedicated to a woman named *Blanky Blank Blank Blank* edited at request.

I still love u whit, sorry

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

America is the home of the hypocrite, American dreams are fu-fu-full of it....

Here is another story of some wierd workplace happenings, this time in glorious color! I will be making more and more of these short comics as practise for story telling and coloring. It is based on a true story!

I still love u whit, sorry

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

You cannot go to Zion with a carnal mind.....

Just some more sketchy. Sketchy sketchy dats all I does, until I start getting paid regularly to draw (hint hint!!) Here are some lovlies with bodies that I do not normally draw, skinny girls. Mostly in cartoons the only way people exaggerate women is by making them look like a fertility goddess i.e. ginormous boobies and buttocks. I have no problem with this, I love me some chubb. What about the skinnier girls who are still beautiful? Will they only be shown in anime stlye (which in my opinion is an insult) or as Olive Oil? I am slowly, slowly loosening up on the lines and realism. I think they are still too realistic.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

It's not what you look like when you're doing what you're doing. It's what you're doing when you're doing what you look like you're doing.

This is a brief cartoon recounting of something that happened to me at work on Tuesday.....
I don't want to know what was happening when he shut the door and I don't why he was wearing a polo shirt and a towel. He certainly did not look like he just got out of the shower and I didn't see any dog, only heard.

p.s. I don't think it's weird to choke the chicken, but the odd doggy noises made it sound a little unnerving, well I am in Georgia.

Monday, September 25, 2006

I don't care what your mama's thinking. Everyone knows that beer aint drinking!

This is the polished up drawing for the bar ad. The bar is called Hang Fire, its in Savannah, GA. I love getting souced there. I wanted the drawing to resemble an old school cartoon. What do you think? The words and what nots will be added to the top white area (that is cropped for presentation purposes). Hang Fire is a really classy place if you couldn't tell.

Saturday, September 23, 2006

O Fortuna!

I got tattooed today. This was part of my payment for the viking piece i posted earlier. It's a Aubrey Beardsley rendition of Merlin the Wild. Excellent work by Tim Loose at Alien Arts Tattoo, he captured the detailed lines perfectly considering the size and the fact that it was being drilled into my flesh with a machine. It is on my calf, I wish it was somewhere I could see more easily now, har har har! NO turning back. There is something about the pain of being tattooed, it feels so damn good afterwards. I feel like I release so much pain during the process, it is quite therapeutic and I will continue the practice for as long as I have uncolored skin on my body and as long as women cause me pain.
The tatt is very fresh in this pic and covered in scab forming plasma and Neosporin, maybe i'll show it again when its all healed up. Also, check out some of Beardsley's other illustrations at Art Passions and make sure to click on the 'naughty Beardsley' link you may or may not regret it.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Yank my Doodle....

Haven't been in a very colorful mood lately. Will not be taking it out on random internet passerbys. Here is a drawing of me drawing..... my face plumage is waaaay more magnificent in real life. Maybe I do another exagerating that. ok I give... I'll make up for my lack of updates this weekend, you'll see.
this was drawn and colored very quickly incase you could not tell. it doesnt even need the gradient background, no turning back now.... yes i am nasty hairy and proud.

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Never did no wandrin'.....

Bad times in the head, been sleeping most days through and only leaving the house to go to work or get soused. Enough self pity, things get better when I draw, but brooding in the corner at a bar overflowing with disappointment and downing alcohol really feuls the old drawing cells. Bars is funny places, if one sits back to observe, the entertainment is better than cable TV. Here are some fast random sketches of various bar observations....
I am sketching ideas for bar ad. These were done to warm up. If all goes well, this could turn into a comissioned work.

This next one is a tattoo design for a friend. He wanted a viking themed piece that would wrap around the shin. He works at Alien Arts Tattoo in savannah, ga. They do a great job there and the atmosphere and people are awesome and it is clean. I get tattooed there, not that it means anything to you, but it does to me.

p.s i hate blogger's post publishing interface

Saturday, September 09, 2006


Ok no excuses, just drawings. I have NOT disappeared! Just busy and/or resting, but still drawing. Here are some lovely sketches. I think I've stumbled upon the 'next level' I felt soemthing click and I seem to understand the subject matter. It can only get better from here. ...... ... maybe its because I haven't fallen alseep yet, maybe because I was staring too hard at pixels of naked woman flesh. whatever, here's a big sketch.

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Old man take a look at me now, I'm a lot like you were...

Wow, five days since the last post, I hope you all have not felt neglected, because I was thinking about every one of you the whole time. If you really look forawrd to seeing more of my filthy imagery and it makes your life worth living, well I'm sorry. Do you feel better now? I had updated my website in those five days and I sent my resume and letter of interest to seven prospective studios I could work at, wish me luck if you please. Also four people that I have grown fond of have left this lonely town of Savannah this month. Two in the beginning and two recently, so I have been out at the bars drinking heavily lately, in fact I am drunk right now. This is why I am so emotional and not as abrasive as usual. A pint of cold Harp lager and a shot of Jameson's will set any man straight after a few rounds.

Anyway, I know why you perverts come here, its for the nubile young bootys I so often showcase. Well guess what, prepare to be disappointed!! If there is one thing I love drawing more than naked young women, its old men, naked or clothed. Here are some old men I drew up for variety's sake, I'll try to get some colored stuff up later this week, but don't plan a weekend around it. =)

Old men are so cool. I can hardly wait until I am a cool old man. I will purposefully buy a house very near a middle or high school and sit on the porch every morn and afternoon drinking cheap whiskey, chasing it with cheap beer, and brandishing my 12 gauge shotgun filled with salt shells at any mangy, young, whiper snapper that dares take the short-cut through my yard to get home. These men's faces tell whole stories. I hope to live a life worth telling in a story when I'm old.


Saturday, August 26, 2006

Fat bottom girls make the rockin' world go 'round.....

Well, fat bottom girls on bicycles do, and you can't beat that with a yard of beef. I been practicing drawing and also workin at the old "dead end job". It's not bad at all being able to ride a bike loaded with pizza around downtown and washing dishes when you get back. But I'd rather be working on a cartoon or something fun like that, then again, who wouldn't. hmmm, maybe if I was more motivated like those hot, young, art chicks that have become all the rage over this-a-here internets I wouldn't be as seriously ugly as I am today. Best of luck to them, being paid to do something you love must be the most rewarding feeling.

"Enough words!!" I say. You come here for pictures and pictures you will get. Oh come off it, it's for the boobies, I already know. Warning nudity so don't scroll no more if you are young. Also if you are young, before you go, ask your parents for a 'doggie doo snow cone' complements of the Sexecutioner.

That background is 80's-eriffic
Would you still suck on that woman's nipples?

Just more practice,they are from the "Sue Her Side" Girls free tour pics. I'm not tyring to cater to anyone's fetishes and I am not making a comment about any of these women. I just wanted to throw a little curveball at the viewer while I practiced digital inking and painting.

enjoy or not! mantus

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

I see yow twoo colowes shining thwoo...

Yay, the blogger demons are with me. well these are some of them troubled japanese youths who i sketch so frequently. I just came across a large database full of their images, so why not practice. This time I went with some color in good old Photoshop. Its a pretty good fake marker tachnique, no? Some of these kids are not seriously ugly, but the things i learn from drawing them, fuels my skills at ugliness. Also i could become teh expart Japanese young-un sketcher extraordinarre! In my wildest dreams!


Monday, August 21, 2006

Highly Developed sense of Taste......

Well, it seems as though Blogger has developed its own tastes and will not accept my filthy drawings. I have not been able to post anything for 2 days now. I will try again late tonight, I have good luck sometimes when the little demons are scampering about in the shadows.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

All I want to do is drink beer for breakfast.

Nanoo, nanoo. I was a drawing storm today. I pumped out a couple drawings for this little series that I will continue about female domination. These will be a group of Frazetta-esque drawings with the woman in charge and the man laying about waiting to be saved. Don't worry buttock lovers, I have maintained a similar ink to butt ratio according to Frank Frazetta's canon. He is another of my major inspirations . On to the nudity!!!! (as promised)

These gorillas are desperate for some 'man love' if you know what I mean.

Again, the man is taking the role of the helpless victim. Frazetta did not always depict his women as helpless, and I'm not making fun of him. It's just the subject matter, and I love to draw ass and nuts.

The main man himself. This is a semi-real caricature of Frazetta.

There is some subtle symbolism in this picture. He is pondering a totem pole of butts, that has an equal amount of nasty to lucious ass, and he is surrounded by butt fairies. He has stated that in his drawings the power of the actions lie in the buttocks. I am a firm believer in this statement in my art and in my life. Frazetta is an equal opportunity ass renderer, look at any gallery of his work, almost every picture has man, woman, monster, monkey, or animal ass in it equally. Atop the butt totem pole sits a round, voluptuous, woman. I believe this to be his trademark. He can really draw a healthy looking woman. On his shoulder is sits one of his characters that people know and love, ole' Death Dealer. He deals death for a living, and I think he uses that axe to do so. Many thanks Mr. Frazetta, you are one of the reasons I kept at drawing.

I promise to make these posts during the wee hours of the night and early hours of the morn, when unmentionable horrors crawl around on edges of our dreams. This I do so that only the fermented brain juices bubble to the surface and I can achieve maximum ugliness in thought. All for you..... oh yeah no one reads this bloog. Well at least it is a decent therapist. Oh yea, leave a dang comment while your at it!


Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Firstest Post!!
(yes another "artist sketch-blog" not the most original idea, but it does smell worse than all other sketch bloogs)

Welcome random intarnets travel'r. Prepare for your mind to be warped in unpleasant yet strangely arousing ways. I will be using this blag as a place to dump my nasty images, and gutteral spewings to terrorize unwary internet wanderers. I am using the term 'dump' in a very literal sense....
dump (dmp)
v. dumped, dump·ing, dumps
v. tr.
  1. To release or throw down in a large mass.
v. intr.
  1. Slang. To criticize another severely: was always dumping on me.
  1. A place where refuse is dumped: a garbage dump; a nuclear waste dump.
(Taken from http://dictionary.reference.com/)

All of the above will this bleeg be, and more! But enough babble here's some pictars I made!

This be my first try at a semi-real caricature of good old (and I do mean old ;P) Johann Kircfalusi. He is a good inspiration of mine, and I wanted to capture him and all of his lechery (though I do not believe it should be contained).

Gals faces from that there "Fruits" magazine. These and the man faces are just done on the fly with no under sketching. Ain't I special?
Some "Fruits" guys *hyuck hyuck* I was practicing my line confidence, trying to get the faces and characters down within the first few strokes. Usually I started at the chin and cheek.

If you happen to need practice at drawing funny looking people maybe even outrageously clothed Japanese youths, you should take a gander at this magazine "Fruits". It is chock full of zany looking yung-uns. There are also other great Japan fashion mags that any decent internet search will find you. Also, enjoy a good look at those lucious girlies, because as the title of this-a-here blug states, almost all of my future imagery will indeed be "Seriously Ugly".

Now, don't think that this will just be one of those "other" sketch-blogs that will start out all exciting then run out of steam. Nay, I say. I eat every day, therefore I must take a dump everyday. So there will be plenty of brain filth to go around. I promise nudity in the next post, and may even treat thine shining eyes with colored or even moving images. However, I am no cheap date, so I've got to get to know you first before I show the goods. ......wait a minnit....

Is anyone even reading this?!?!?!?! Hello intarnet are you there? What are ya>? leave a comment if you feel so inclined.